Deflection

He jokes about the struggle,

his self deprecating humor a transparent veil, 

attempting to cover the hurt behind the memory.  

Choice.

Love only hurts if you let it.  

I won't. 

Watch me walk away.  

I'm not sorry to leave you, and your venom, behind.  

Watch me walk away.  

I won't look back.

I won't give in.

I won't allow my world to dim. 

I won't waste my tears. 

I won't spend my years

rationalizing actions caused your fears.

I gave you my heart

and you threw it away

I'm picking it up,

and leaving today. 

GIS

my head spins
I struggle to grasp
the ideas I need

A bacteriophage (virus)

for these god. damn. maps.

the trouble is my sources
have become infected
(A virus slipped past
my strongest protection)

the data's corrupted
the files aren't where
I placed them last night,
with so. much. care.

So I've called up a friend
affectionately known
as my favorite nerd
who may have a code
that works magic to resurrect
files lost
to viral defects.




(School today was frustrating.)

strength

scream.  go ahead.
no one will hear you.
its all in your head,
so just. . .
let them kill you.

scream. go ahead.
no one will hear your.
its all in your head.
don't let them defeat you.

MINDSEYEONLYMINE

LIFELIFELIFELIFELIFE

it CUTS like a knife

[Today, with surgical precision.]

the choices we make

(chances we take)

shape the scars, which are placed

(early on, like roots) at the base

until we run out of days

(scars intricate in so many ways)

in time the shallow scars fade, 

but today

[today I placed this scar]

cutting out tissue knotted

with

(pastpastpastpastpastpast) whispers

with one,

clean, 

sharp, 

line

(barely a wrinkle)

I turn, scalpel in hand, 

and beckon the world. 

[Bring it.]

Happy Earth Day!

Happy Earth Day!  

It seems so very sad that we only have ONE day of the year to celebrate the Earth.  

Do something good for the Earth today, and every day after!  

Love, 

Klaire

Don't know how to get started? Click here!

Journey

I am young, still.

At times I feel old, as if I have lived long enough to know all, as if I carry wisdom in the dust on my feet.

I am a fool.

I know some things of the world.  I have so much more to see, to learn.  I must remember that knowledge is not understanding, experience is not wisdom.  I have only just opened my eyes to the world, my life thus far only a glimpse -- and blurred as in the first moments of waking.  I have learned that the world will not hand over its secrets to me calmly.  I must fight, determined to make my way against the surge of those who bet against me.  Sometimes it is only a battle to stay afloat, in other moments I seem to speed ahead, leaping and diving forward into life head first.

Sometimes I find myself sinking.

Yet, I have been blessed enough to be loved.  Those who love me have come and pulled me back towards the surface countless times.  I must remind myself to remain calm, so I do not drown them in my panic, or force them to let me go.  This lesson has been hard to learn, and certainly not one I have mastered.

One thing I have learned: 

Trust is such a delicate creature.  In one foolish, panicked moment it be shattered, crushed, suffocated -- and it cannot be resurrected, there is no 'breath of life' or miracle technology that can heal those wounds.  If you are lucky, bits of trust might be found buried in love (as love cannot die, only languish), and from those remnants you can begin to rebuild.

I only hope that as I discover the world, I become less a fool, stepping carefully and remaining calm, so that I can pull those who are sinking up with me.

Maybe, some day, we'll fly.

Instinct: Waking (Meet Kitra)

(More to come! I'm still working on the middle part, will post when I'm satisfied with it.)


Ryker crouched close, watching his charge as she slept.  Her body barely moved, her breath slow and even.  The sunlight crept into the room, her dark hair gleaming with hints of red he hadn’t noticed before.  Kitra had been clear: do not wake her, do not touch her, do not question her, do not let anyone in.  She had been sleeping for two days already, the village waiting for her to wake—even the children sensed the importance of this stranger, and kept silent, lined up outside Kitra’s home, waiting. 

He had heard whispers, of course.  Since her arrival the elders had been silent, holed up in their chambers, waiting like everyone else. Was she truly Nadari’s child?  Did this mean the others were coming?  If so, why weren’t they preparing the archers? 

Ryker stood, silent, waiting for her to speak.  The intrigue surrounding her was almost tangible, as if light itself bent around her protectively. 

“Yes. Nadari was my mother. The others awoke and found me in thecity, gilled my guardians there – all except Everest.” 

She spoke quietly, while staring through the window, not looking, her eyes simply set forward.  He wanted to ask about the others – he had only heard stories, and even those were vague, folklore and old wives tales told to dissuade mischiefvous children.

“They are powerful” – as if she could hear his thoughts – she looked directly at him now, her eyes aflame with hatred, sadness and pain – so much pain, Ryker gasped with the power of it.  Shocked, he stepped back, working to push her mind away.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were Chimaeric.  Your eyes. . .”

“They change as I wish. “  This he demonstrated, his eyes flashing from brown to blue to violet. 

“Impressive” She smiled, just slightly. Her new protector was a powerful Chimaera.  She would need to be more careful with her emotions. 

“Please, excuse me.”  Ryker spoke quietly, stepping out of the room to regain his composure.  Where did this. . .creature. . come from?  And why did he want to save her?

Kitra

Kitra stood waist deep in the river, laughing as the children splashed and swam around her. As Ryker approached she stood tall, her face growing serious. 

“You were not to leave her.” 

Ryker bowed his head, ashamed. How could he protect Elisesofia when she possessed more power than any being Ryker had ever encountered?

Kitra’s face softened—“She is incredible, isn’t she? I must tell you . . .”

Ryker interrupted his leader, “We were bonded as children, weren’t we?  You thought she 
was human.  The infant I kept.” 

All Chimaera, at age 5, are given a human infant, often taken in from orphanages.  Occasionally the chimaeric child wanders into the forest, and returns with an infant whose origin is unknown – it is believed that the forest senses the power of the Chimaera and provides the infant.  The chimaeric child must protect and nurture the infant until it begins to speak.  Usually about a year, sometimes less as the Chimaera assist the child and provide superior development. 

Kitra smiled, most Chimaera do not remember this bond.  “Everest saw that she was weakened, biven the trauma of her short life.  We decided that your power may be strong enough to repair the damage.  When she began to speak you were enchanted with her.  We had a difficult time removing her from your care.”

This Ryker remembered. He had packed up the infant and headed out into the forest, his six year old self certain she would be safer kept away from any and all people.  

Real Life

I usually keep this blog mostly creative works, but since there are several people reading this, I wanted to spread the word.  

One of my students has applied for a scholarship.  Please vote for her HERE.

The prompt:   Who has been most important tutor, teacher or coach in my life and why?

This is her essay:

I just started my education at Cleveland State University in the fall of 2010. I believe the tutoring program (TASC) at Cleveland State is a very successful program in which students (mostly graduate students) help undergraduates with their classes. I have been very successful with my tutor, Klaire, for my fall and spring semesters. In my fall semester Klaire helped me with study skills and learning how to deal with a teacher that has a thick accent for my Anatomy and Physiology class. Klaire has also been very great to me. Other than a tutor, Klaire is a friend, and a peer mentor to me. She is always keeping me in a great mood and wanting to study. In my spring semester, Klaire is helping me out with two classes which include Anatomy & Physiology 2 and Microbiology. Two sciences are very hard and if there was not anyone to reinforce how much i needed to do to accomplish my goals i would be struggling. Klaire has taught me many things about college. She has taught me how to study, manage my time, have fun, make friends, and deal with roommates. I look up to Klaire so much. She has a great personality which is caring, humorous, and energetic. Klaire also is very determined, strong willed, successful and awesome. I know I could sit here and write more about Klaire and how she has affected my life, but I would just stress how spectacular she is. Klaire has made my college experience much better, and I will take everything she has taught me about time management, team work, personalities, roommates, and goals with me for the rest of my life.

Quieted.

This soul, 

so often frantic, 

finds calm amid 

such chaos.  

This mind 

overcomes, 

quieting its soul 

with willpower,

its poise brings 

such authority.  

This heart, 

while aching,

continues to beat, 

the mind reassuring,

the soul calmed.