my old enemy.

anger fuels these words

where spite, my old enemy,

burned this heart again

I try, and try, and try

to forgive.

but I can see papa's face, still,

and hear the words you said,

I was there, for all the years you pretended we weren't.

I try, and try, and try

to forgive.

but I can see papa's face, still,

and hear the tears in the dark,

I was there, for all the years you weren't.

anger fuels these words: get out, stay out, and don't come again

because I don't need to pretend that you were ever a friend.

compassion pulls them back in before they are loosed,

because spite, you see, it eats at you,

don't think I can't see, the damage it's caused,

you may spit venom at me, but it's you that it's harmed

and when you come round, all sugary sweet,

and pretend that you're somehow interested in me

I can see through your guise just as easily,

but still

I try, and try, and try

to forgive.

You may be blood, but that's running thin

and until you stop letting your poison flow,

here's one more thing you ought to know:

spite, my old enemy, he's a mean motherfucker,

and little girl, he's just eatin you up.

Wandering

Sun warms skin even as I shiver against that breeze.

I watch you smile, climbing to meet me.

Settling in for a nap in the grass I realize this is beautifully easy.

Waking in your arms ready to face the night

where in the dark we walk, towards the sunrise

and when we reach the ocean, then we will sleep in the dark again.

night

I could love you, you know,

if only you'd let me.

If you'd give up those fears

stop trying to protect me.

I could love you.

Thoughts of you fill my mind

and I smile dispite myself,

recalling words

whispered in the dark

in that blackest night.

With a silent prayer I wait for the wind to carry you back to me.

Voices

i sing
out to the world
where anyone who cares to

listen, hears

and pour out the words that are carried in this heart
like thick honey on one of those cool
Cleveland days

the homeless man in the courtyard tips his hat
as he shakes his penny cup, too

i sing
out to the world
where anyone passing by
might turn their head, wonder

and think.

where is that voice? carried on the wind
like the message of some distant deity we hope exists.
their eyes drawn all around until the light changes
and they continue on their way

as i remain hidden
beneath the green green leaves
in that courtyard,
across from the homeless man shakin his penny cup,
between the statue of the virgin and the cool stone of the cathedral wall

i sing.
and listen as the coins in his cup shake out a beat,
watch as his faded suit walks down the path,
the world takes no notice
the cathedral bells ring out the call for mass
and he hums a few of my lines


i sing.

revenge on banality?

the clock ticks as the cat watches the oceans flow on the discovery channel.
and i review the list of duties for another day.
wake up. shower. put on pants, shirt and shoes, with socks. eat. feed cat.

the clock ticks as the cat watches the girl stare out the window.
and i review the list of duties for another afternoon.
go library: check email, find book of guitar music. go bank: get money for rent. go home. eat.

the clock ticks as the cat watches the man remind the girl that life isn't a list.
and i review the list of duties for another night.
practice guitar music. write 24 sentences of the book. call home. eat. feed cat.

the clock ticks as the cat watches the girl wake up.
and i review the list of duties for another day.
feed cat. tear up list.

check.

Entropy

there is a place that's lost in time

existing in the space between seconds

where silence echos in the mind

and moments, memories swell and rise

like ocean's constant churning.

and there is where the soul resides

where each emotion,

lost to time, collides

with passing of two minds

as that place between the seconds 

perpetuates this chaos.   

Remember.

1 Corinthians 13

Love

 ¹If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

 ⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 ⁸Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 ¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Loose Screws (the sad story of a nameless man)

standin on the highway

looking for his mind

this old man looks up just in time

to see them three sweet young things

drivin down the line

street on his face

step towards their car

point gnarled hands

to pulls his trigger

yellin as he busts that cap

standin on the highway

looking for his mind

this old man looks up just in time

to see them three sweet young things

drivin by

something grows behind the staircase.

in the world behind the staircase

light seems to trick the eye

colors swirl around

fliting image just out of sight

music leads to garden's door

where children may find magic

and elders get their lore

_

in the world behind the staircase

legends live to play and grow

a child's mind springing

from enchantments only known

to those who are not seeking

but looking to be found

magic reminiscing

as Spring breaks ground once more

nightmare

breath falls ___uneven
eyes refuse to see
fists held before
___________protective futility
ears strain ___waiting
heart beats ___once
skin crawls ___shivers
soul forever ___lost