I am young, still.
At times I feel old, as if I have lived long enough to know all, as if I carry wisdom in the dust on my feet.
I am a fool.
I know some things of the world. I have so much more to see, to learn. I must remember that knowledge is not understanding, experience is not wisdom. I have only just opened my eyes to the world, my life thus far only a glimpse -- and blurred as in the first moments of waking. I have learned that the world will not hand over its secrets to me calmly. I must fight, determined to make my way against the surge of those who bet against me. Sometimes it is only a battle to stay afloat, in other moments I seem to speed ahead, leaping and diving forward into life head first.
Sometimes I find myself sinking.
Yet, I have been blessed enough to be loved. Those who love me have come and pulled me back towards the surface countless times. I must remind myself to remain calm, so I do not drown them in my panic, or force them to let me go. This lesson has been hard to learn, and certainly not one I have mastered.
One thing I have learned:
Trust is such a delicate creature. In one foolish, panicked moment it be shattered, crushed, suffocated -- and it cannot be resurrected, there is no 'breath of life' or miracle technology that can heal those wounds. If you are lucky, bits of trust might be found buried in love (as love cannot die, only languish), and from those remnants you can begin to rebuild.
I only hope that as I discover the world, I become less a fool, stepping carefully and remaining calm, so that I can pull those who are sinking up with me.
Maybe, some day, we'll fly.
